So I just cracked the cover of Hunger Games last night. I get the distinct impression that I have just begun to read "Twilight: The Scifi Years." I hate when all the small minded buffoonery of the world gets together in their mouth breathing collectives they call Book Club to decide that something is like "OH EM GEE" a great book! Oh there is a second one coming out? Great!! Oh a movie? Totes!!! It's a good thing I have to wait less than a year for each one!! Gladiator games in the Post Apocalyptic future (*cough*Running Man*cough*Beyond Thunderdome*Cough*) is so fresh and cool! Oh and I am so glad someone finally made a commentary on how governments really screw their people and how bad it COULD get (*cough*V for Vendetta*cough*)!!! This stuff is SOOO original!!
I am even more disappointed in my own dad, a long standing bastion of true GeekDom. The man who introduced me to Snow Crash before I had pubes!! Now he is reading this shit? Where the female protagonist is a 16 year old girl with a name like "Katniss"? Anyone who has perused through the assembly line Fantasy and SciFi one can find in paperback at Barnes and Noble will notice this is actually a pretty cookie cutter idea. It makes me so upset that I want to punch myself in the face. I would have expected better from you, Dad.
All this means to me is that another thing that I love and thought was bad ass now becomes fodder for the masses and from another (Scary, Epic, Teen, Dance) Movie. And a bunch of fucking teenage girls get a whole new genre to rape and pillage. I wish people would have at least left this last shred of good stuff alone. I felt that I could remain a reader of science fiction and fantasy, undisturbed, in my little cocoon of nerdiness. But no, the small minded fools of this Cuntry got their McDonald's grease-smeared fingers all over my pages and pretty much wrecked it. Thanks Suzanne Collins, you unoriginal twat, for doing the same thing that insipid douche did for vampires to my beloved Post Apocalyptic future.
RIP Good Taste.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Nothin' worse than watchin' a fuckin fat man weep...
Do you ever find yourself getting a request on Facebook from someone you have not seen for like 10 years? Maybe someone from High School or someone who moved away?
You accept the request and peruse the photos only to see that this person has fallen apart: fat, droopy, a bunch of illegitimate kids, orange Jersey Shore tan...
'Cmon, you know you have. Well, unless YOU are that person...
I take this break from jackin' it to some fucked up porn to vent a little about our silly social networking obsession. I admit it, I am as much of a FB crack addict as the rest of you fools, perhaps even more so. I mean, how else do we get to let everyone know that little Baby Junior Sonofabitch drew a precious fingerpainting that looks like something I passed after a particularly spicy meal, or to complain about how much our job/friends/relationship sucks? But is any of this shit needed? I mean, I like to look through "Summer 20Ten Trip to the BEACH!!" pics as much as the next fuckin pervert, but I am pretty sure people existed just fine for quite some time before they got to spy on chicks they don't really talk to in real life in their bikinis. For the love of Jeebus, no one really gives a shit about all the cool effects you can put on that webcam shot of you making the "kissy" face. Oh yeah, ladies, that face makes you look like a fucking fish. It's not cute, it's not sexy, it's fucking GOOFY. But for some reason... we do give a shit? I mean this would not be so huge of a part of people's lives if they didn't use it, right? I mean, how will I get along in my day without knowing that Bob is "having a great time in Cabo! LOL!" or Pam "Hates the DMV!!!" Ummm, no fucking shit people, vacation is fun and the DMV sucks. I am fulfilled by knowing that you feel the same, but it is all bullshit. We are contributing to the decline of modern civilization and "liking" it every step of the way. For shame.
It's a lot like cell phones. Most people survived all the way to adulthood without an electronic leash, but I often activate for kids under 10 b/c their parents HAVE to have a way to get in touch with them. Umm, what the fuck is your 8 year old doing that you don't know where they are and who they are with already? Do you really need to make it any easier for your piece of shit bully of a kid (which is YOUR fault for not smacking the mean little fucker around when he chicken wings his little brother) to torment his classmates by providing him with an unlimited texting plan? What about your 12 year old FSA (Future Slut of America) with the sweet new Android device with the front facing camera? Now she doesn't need to take thong shots in the bathroom mirror anymore! YAY!! Don't worry, you are just making sure that your kids will never learn which is the right "your" or "there" to use in a sentence. I have a question: Would you allow your child unlimited access to whatever they want on the family computer and never check on what they are doing? No? Well then the unlimited data plan on their fuckin iPhone probably wasn't a great idea, now was it? Don't worry, that nice 13 year old girl your son plays Words with Friends with couldn't POSSIBLY be a 45 year old man... how many points is "Pederast" worth anyway?? Do yourself a favor, take all the phones on your family plan and SHOVE THEM UP YOUR ASS!! Bet you are not sorry that you only have 5 lines now, huh?
That said, I am going to go back to checking out Barstool Sports and YouJizz for the rest of my day off, since I have disgusted myself enough that I am kind of horny again....
You accept the request and peruse the photos only to see that this person has fallen apart: fat, droopy, a bunch of illegitimate kids, orange Jersey Shore tan...
'Cmon, you know you have. Well, unless YOU are that person...
I take this break from jackin' it to some fucked up porn to vent a little about our silly social networking obsession. I admit it, I am as much of a FB crack addict as the rest of you fools, perhaps even more so. I mean, how else do we get to let everyone know that little Baby Junior Sonofabitch drew a precious fingerpainting that looks like something I passed after a particularly spicy meal, or to complain about how much our job/friends/relationship sucks? But is any of this shit needed? I mean, I like to look through "Summer 20Ten Trip to the BEACH!!" pics as much as the next fuckin pervert, but I am pretty sure people existed just fine for quite some time before they got to spy on chicks they don't really talk to in real life in their bikinis. For the love of Jeebus, no one really gives a shit about all the cool effects you can put on that webcam shot of you making the "kissy" face. Oh yeah, ladies, that face makes you look like a fucking fish. It's not cute, it's not sexy, it's fucking GOOFY. But for some reason... we do give a shit? I mean this would not be so huge of a part of people's lives if they didn't use it, right? I mean, how will I get along in my day without knowing that Bob is "having a great time in Cabo! LOL!" or Pam "Hates the DMV!!!" Ummm, no fucking shit people, vacation is fun and the DMV sucks. I am fulfilled by knowing that you feel the same, but it is all bullshit. We are contributing to the decline of modern civilization and "liking" it every step of the way. For shame.
It's a lot like cell phones. Most people survived all the way to adulthood without an electronic leash, but I often activate for kids under 10 b/c their parents HAVE to have a way to get in touch with them. Umm, what the fuck is your 8 year old doing that you don't know where they are and who they are with already? Do you really need to make it any easier for your piece of shit bully of a kid (which is YOUR fault for not smacking the mean little fucker around when he chicken wings his little brother) to torment his classmates by providing him with an unlimited texting plan? What about your 12 year old FSA (Future Slut of America) with the sweet new Android device with the front facing camera? Now she doesn't need to take thong shots in the bathroom mirror anymore! YAY!! Don't worry, you are just making sure that your kids will never learn which is the right "your" or "there" to use in a sentence. I have a question: Would you allow your child unlimited access to whatever they want on the family computer and never check on what they are doing? No? Well then the unlimited data plan on their fuckin iPhone probably wasn't a great idea, now was it? Don't worry, that nice 13 year old girl your son plays Words with Friends with couldn't POSSIBLY be a 45 year old man... how many points is "Pederast" worth anyway?? Do yourself a favor, take all the phones on your family plan and SHOVE THEM UP YOUR ASS!! Bet you are not sorry that you only have 5 lines now, huh?
That said, I am going to go back to checking out Barstool Sports and YouJizz for the rest of my day off, since I have disgusted myself enough that I am kind of horny again....
Sunday, January 8, 2012
'Sup sluts...?
In the squalid shitheap that is my emotional well being, if one digs around for a while, one might find the frozen remains of that thing I call a heart. If you peel off the freezer burned outer layers you can dig all the way down to the raw, red, bleeding little core. I suppose that probably hurts, which explains why I keep it buried in the rest of my mess. Protecting that little bit of vulnerability that might still rend at my soul when you drag a long crimson nail over the exposed tissue. The sum total of my emotions can be represented by division by zero. I am not sure what point in my days I went from feeling too much to doing my best to feel nothing. I am not always successful, sometimes something that has nothing to do with me manages to crawl out of the midden with a fist sized piece of gristle in it's jaws. It will usually manage to worry at it enough to sting. A bit. Of course then that dirty, mean old bastard that runs my internal junkyard shoots it full of rocksalt with his double barrel and it runs off squealing. Then the miserable old cunt gets his spade and puts it at least 6 inches deeper than last time...
Ok, Emo pussy time is over. Welcome to my blog. If you have not guessed, turns out I am a bit fucked up and I am going to try to go ahead and work out all of my bullshit feelings. I don't really care if you like it and I am not interested in your opinion. In fact, for most of you, I don't even really like you. I pretend. With most folks. Thankfully the last 5 years of my life have been spent in the service industry, so I am real good at not letting people know how much I despise them... Well SOMETIMES....
I am going to do my best to dump as much of the load of rocks I carry in my head every day onto this digital spiral notebook and see if lightening the mining cart helps me get through this period of on the cusp-ness. This is going to be my journal, but unlike Anne Franke, you get to read it BEFORE I have something awful happen to me. Also, I don't get to have an awkward lesbian scene....
Anyway, eat me, you bunch of bastards and hold on for the ride.
Ok, Emo pussy time is over. Welcome to my blog. If you have not guessed, turns out I am a bit fucked up and I am going to try to go ahead and work out all of my bullshit feelings. I don't really care if you like it and I am not interested in your opinion. In fact, for most of you, I don't even really like you. I pretend. With most folks. Thankfully the last 5 years of my life have been spent in the service industry, so I am real good at not letting people know how much I despise them... Well SOMETIMES....
I am going to do my best to dump as much of the load of rocks I carry in my head every day onto this digital spiral notebook and see if lightening the mining cart helps me get through this period of on the cusp-ness. This is going to be my journal, but unlike Anne Franke, you get to read it BEFORE I have something awful happen to me. Also, I don't get to have an awkward lesbian scene....
Anyway, eat me, you bunch of bastards and hold on for the ride.
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